10 Things You Didn't Know About Michael Jackson

The King of Pop has died, in case you haven't heard. (It makes so much more sense now why he was pissed about having to work). And if you haven't heard, you're obviously living like a barbarian, without a laptop, the google, or Twitter, like the young kids like John McCain are doing.

You know all about the hits, about the beatings from Papa Joe, and of course, the later years when Michael devolved into a creepy mix of Willy Wonka and the guy from the Jethro Tull song "Aqualung". You've heard all about that, and we're pretty sure it won't stop now that he's dead. But there's so much you didn't know about Wacko Jacko. We certainly didn't, until just now.

In honor of Thriller, we bring you the 10 Things You Didn't Know About Michael Jackson.

10. Billie Jean Was the First Video By a Black Artist on MTV
Are you kidding us, MTV? The first video you ever play by a black man is a video about him not wanting to pay child support? Way to avoid stereotypes!



9. Michael Jackson filed a patent application for the "leaning forward a bit" dance moves displayed in the Smooth Criminal video.
You know every time your boss tells you "if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean?" You owed MJ $20.



8. Jackson's favorite superhero was Morph from the X-Men.
We totally had MJ pegged for a Storm fan. At times, it was hard to tell the two apart!



7. Michael Was Featured in Clay Form in Genesis' "Land of Confusion" video.
It's been a long time since we've seen this. Genesis has potential to replace MJ as the weirdest dudes in music.



6. Michael was the one who started the rumor that he slept in a hyperbaric chamber
It was all a stunt to promote his Captain EO film showing at Disney World. It also kick-started the "Michael Jackson is completely insane" label. That part stuck for the rest of his life. We'll mark that publicity stunt as a definitive "win."



5. Michael believed that if you peeled the skin off of KFC chicken, it made it organic.
Michael's friend David Gest revealed this in 2008. Hey, after enough mutations, is it a freaky chicken or a whole new organic species? Only Jesus can decide.



4. Michael once dated Brooke Shields and Tatum O'Neal
You had to be around in the 80s for this joke. Where's Michael Jackson's other glove? In Brooke Shields' pants! (We thought it was just a joke!)



3. His dad nicknamed him "Big Nose"
Joe was one crazy alpha male mofo. Did Michael's nose shrink over time because of plastic surgery, or because Crazy Ass Joe stopped whopping it?



2. MC Hammer once challenged Jackson to a dance-off
MJ reportedly told Hammer, "I've seen your videos and every single dance move you use, you got off of me." Nobody ever took Hammer seriously again after that.



1. His close friends called him "Smelly"
Good ol' Smelly Jackson. That's what Quincy Jones and Stephen Spielberg called him. Does weirdness have a scent?



We'll be keeping an eye out for the 100 songs he wanted released after his death. Also, who could forget Weird Al's "Bad" spoof, "Fat?"